Saturday, July 23, 2011

Doppelgangers.

Your look-alike. Everyone has one. Some people have a lot of them. I don't know if I'd really like that my face was so popular.

Famous people often resemble other famous people. And in some cases, a caricature of someone long dead will bring to mind a still-living actor........

And sometimes, our resemblances are geared more toward fiction.......

I think we can all agree that a Doppelganger is not necessarily a flattering term.

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Is this thing still here?!

I've been busy and I'm a notoriously lazy blogger so (Sophie, my one reader) apologies if updates are few and far between and occasionally lacking in interesting content or become a jumbling pile of thought from me trying to make up for lost time.

It has been a GOOD couple of weeks but hellishly busy and distracting. I'd like to say that although I never really intentionally did much training with Lucy off leash that I was thrilled and pleased with her leashless walking abilities. She was spazzing out like a douche on our last hike with Quinn (my BC/ACD/Something implacably calm mix) and kept weaving through the bigger dogs legs so I decided to experiment and let her loose. She stayed within a 3 foot radius of me at all times, for about an hour and forty minutes of walking and had excellent recall. Whenever she lagged or got distracted a quick "Keep up, Lucille!" or "Move it along, Monkey-butt" got her back up to speed =-)

I only mean Monkey-Butt in the most endearing of ways, just in case you were wondering. Anyone who has seen my youtube videos of the dogs knows they are peppered with affectionate insults and swearing. This is how I speak to them when the cameras aren't rolling....and also how I speak to everyone I care about. You precious little fucktards!

So that got me thinking. Why don't I actually train Lucy to do anything except turn oxygen into carbon dioxide?

Simply put......I don't NEED to. Not to start a flaming 'sperg war on 'working dogs' vs 'companion breeds' (although my personal opinion on the matter is that companion breeds are more versatile and just as useful as a working breed; in most cases a much more viable option as a pet and friend because what you can DO with them is actually a lot less limited and you even have the option of not doing much at all which is fine too. I shudder to think what an agility BC owner would do if they broke a leg or something and couldn't run their dog!) but I just don't have an overwhelming desire to make something of Lucy other than what she already is.


Health issues aside ( that haven't been a problem in well over a year, thank Jeebus and knock on wood!), Lucy is startlingly low maintenance. She loves strangers, her exercise requirements are nill even though she's game for whatever I do want to throw at her, her daily intake of food is made even more insignificant when compared to our other four dogs, she travels like a champ, she rarely barks, she wants to stay snuggled in her crate until 11am and if you don't want her on your lap firstly "Fuck you, why wouldn't you want me here?!" but then "Whatever, I'll find my own spot....again, fuck you." Her grooming needs are not and aside from a coat in the winter, this dog really isn't a big deal.

I generally use the above list as a reason why my husband should let me adopt a sixth dog since really, does Lucy even count, but again, it got me thinking. The off leash hike has me of two minds. On the one, clearly, Lucy is just as well behaved as I had always assumed so mission accomplished there. On the other hand though, I wonder if I have missed some golden opportunity to make a good Obedience dog or....something else 'useful'. Have I done Lucy a disservice by making her 'just a pet'?

I suppose not. She's a happy little fuck. And I HAVE trained her. I socialized the ever-loving crap out of her when she was a puppy and still technically belonged to someone else. I made sure she knew that her little ass was WALKING when we went someplace and not being toted around. I was lucky in that she had no inclinations to be carried long distances even as a baby and wanted to be able to explore so that stage went smoothly. She met dogs of all shapes and sizes. She learned what a car trip was and that her crate is the awesomest place.I introduced her to children, including my numerous nieces and nephews. She gets stupidly excited when she sees little kids now, although she has warned one of my nieces when enough is enough and we intervened on both their behalves.

A couple of days ago I had Lucy and another one of my dogs in Petsmart to pick up another crate and some replacement Kongs. At the register, they went nuts because they associate cashiers with treats and glory but the best part was a woman with 5 little kids coming up behind us! The kids were cooing and asked to pet the dogs......I didn't even have to tell the dogs to say hi, once I said "Sure, they're friendly" both rushed forward to be engulfed in luuuuuvvvvvssss. They asked her name and one of the girls got all giddy and said "MY name is LUCIA!!!!" so they bonded hard. Dogs and children were equally reluctant to part ways. We then went to our locally owned feed store to buy dog and cat food (I only go to Petsmart if I have a gift card because Yay, local business!) where the dogs thought they had surely died and gone to Heaven to get TWO cashier visits in one hour!!!!

This was a prime example of what I think the main objective is of every average dog owner. We went to a Place and my dogs didn't shame me all the way back to the car.

For someone who doesn't dream of ribbons and pride and who doesn't have a working bred dog tearing down their drywall in an effort to be Doing A Thing, what higher goal could there be? I won't lie to you my (one) reader. I would fucking ADORE to have a good competition dog some day. Some day, but not today. This isn't the right time. What I DO have are three dogs who can pretty do anything with me, one reactive dog with too much terrier for my liking that is much MUCH better than she was but still kind of a dick and one fearful dog who has come leaps and bounds but has many miles left untraveled before I could feasibly take her to a Petsmart. When I think about them, and I think about Lucy, I am so very very very very glad and grateful to have her as she is, a solid 'foundation' dog who requires so little, is so predictable and so steady. It is a comfort to know I can work with the 'problem' children, work out with the 'good dawgs' that need more exercise than she and still be confident that Lucy will remain as she is and ever was if I can't focus on her too long during that time. No soiled rugs, no chewed floor molding, no decimated shoes. Just a Lucy sleeping in a blanket until its her turn. Or time for dinner. No regal Chihuahua decorum during feeding time. Nobody's perfect.


So........ I have a well-rounded, well-behaved toy breed who is quiet, friendly and polite. She was always a good puppy but I did put some actual effort into shaping her personality. This is a dog I can comfortably take anywhere and I'm not worried about what might happen in the wrong situation. And in spite of all her good qualities, particularly being about as food motivated as a street urchin in Calcutta, when I am pragmatic on the subject, I'm not really confident in her attention span to learn specific tasks beyond Sit, Stay, Leave It and Go To Bed. And I know that *I* don't have anything else that I really need from her beyond what she already gives me.

 There are other dogs in this house that, given the time, money and ability to run an actual course (I have health problems putting a pretty sizeable block in the middle of THAT road) that I should/could/WOULD do agility with. Or flyball. Or Obedience. And they would be almost certainly better than Lucy at it and quite definitely would benefit more from being worked than she-of-the-comfy-blanket.

My Chihuahua is a pet. Only a pet. So much more, but never anything else to the outside world. And my conclusion is? That's one-hundred percent all right by me.

Do they look like a single fuck is given?

Nope.

Saturday, July 2, 2011

Will I be beautiful, Mama? Will they all love me?

I must confess, I'm having a bout of malaise. It isn't a big 'smiling' period in my life. We're kind of up against some things we can't control and I've reached a point where it is either Up By My Bootstraps -or- Wallow in This Forever.

So I thought I'd do a little something to amuse myself. (Note: you should start humming "I Feel Pretty" right about now, if you know the song....)









"Do I turn you on?"



"Give us a kiss, will ya, love?"


........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................I am so so sorry.



No living creature was harmed in the making of this post and Lucy was cleaned of her non-toxic beauty regime as soon as the pictures were taken.

Don't we all feel much better now? :D