Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Studies show Lucy is not as unique a snowflake as previously imagined.....

We've done Doppelgangers. We've done BuscemDog. But nature is a broad, colorful, diverse and cruel universe and there are lots of things that look like STUFF. As you may have guessed, a lot of people we encounter have a difficult time reconciling that Lucy is, in fact, a dog. More or less.

Today, I pay humble tribute to the many many many many many many many many many many many many things that are Not Dogs to which Lucy has been compared. Naturally, not all are favorable but, if ever I do get insulted, all I need to do is look at Lucy.....and then it's kind of like "Yeeahhhh, that is one weird lookin' dawg...."

(I should note, some of these animals are actually nicknames we've give her.....Don't you judge me.)

1. An Aye-Aye.
Her puppy picture would drive this one home.

2. A Lizard.
Most species will suffice, but the ones that hiss or shoot blood are particularly good examples.

3. A Dik-Dik.
I can believe with every inch of my being that Lucy could seamlessly meld with a herd of these mini-deer and possibly interbreed. And she is DEFINITELY a dick. <---That was funny.

4. Most insects, but Mosquitoes in particular.
Which would explain why she always leaves me feeling itchy and anemic.

5. A Marmoset
Pretty much any animal with the prefix 'pygmy' works anyhow.

6. A Possum.....
Or, otherwise:

7. Lemur
Yes, I know a lot of these are primates of some type. But they're different. Even the ones that are technically the same. And they look like Lucy. So just let it go already.

8. Monkeys.
This search led to so many images of things that are APES and NOT MONKEYS that I may have
(absolutely did) start screaming incoherently at the computer. Because, as we all know, Lucy is definitely a monkey. And Lucy looks nothing like an ape. Stupid Internet.

9. A Rodent, of Usual Size, since Lucy is very small. She is.....a tiny thing.
The ever popular choice of exclamation when seeing a toy dog.

10. The Baby from "Eraserhead"

This one made me throw up in my mouth a little when I realized it......and I will never again see syringing medicine in to Lucy's moth the same way. And it was already pretty disgusting.

11. Baby Birds
The schlumpier, the better. None of that "new born parrots who still have such adorable faces" nonsense!
I'm looking at you, cockatiels!!

12. Embryonic Dog
She's always had 'didn't cook quite long enough..' look about her.
Also, an actual picture of Lucy turned up in that GIS- Fetal Chihuahua:

13. A Goat
Not as effortless as the Dik-Dik, but she does make these awful little bleating noises when she wants to be let out in the yard.....

14. Miniature Horse Foals
Sometimes, I look at things and I can't myself from sputtering "DearGodWhyLucy"

15. A Goblin
And similarly,

16. A Gremlin
Both examples lend credence to my ongoing theory that Lucy is not actually a mortal dog but some kind of mythological being sent to me as punishment for some past misdeed. And given some of my past misdeeds, I can safely assume she'll be one of those Chihuahuas who easily live past age 20.

17. A Mole
She does like to tunnel....

18. Ground Squirrel
......really enjoys burrowing.....

19. A Meerkat
Bein' under stuff and sneering...those are Lucy's two major daily activities........

Finally, my personal favorite. An animal I truly adore and admire for their......special.....special-ness. A beast that I think is tragically under appreciated and unfairly reviled, one that so very wholly encompasses LUCY that were it not for their lack of hilarious disproportionately large ears giving clue that they are not one and the same, I would donate her to a zoo straight away.

Ladies and gents, I give you #20. The Naked Mole Rat

Its like all the Wrong Things were mashed together to become so so so right.........

So. Right.

I don't think I can ever hope to top this post.

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